Outsourcing is my new favorite word as we close out the decade. I haven't had much experience with it growing up in a single parent home, I watched my mother do all the mom things, the housekeeping things, the working a FT job things, and yep that was it. That was when I accepted that as "what's supposed to be done" to be a good mother. To be able to do it all. I never saw her bat an eye. Stressed out? Sure here and there, but for the most part she took it in stride and my little girl self expected to do the same when I became a mother.
Fast forward years later, there I was unraveling. Working the FT job, getting home in the nic of time for dinner, bath, and bed time routine (or whatever was left of routine). The house was disheveled, dishes lined the sink, and laundry piles cast disturbing shadows on the walls. I was tired from a long day of "being on" but my family was getting the short end of the stick because i wanted to just turn off. I wanted to badly to be perfect at everything, that when i failed to meet my own irrational expectations, negative self talk would creep in. It had to stop somewhere and when i became unrecognizable to myself and I wasn't thrilled with who I was becoming. That's when I began to really think about it. "What did I need to be a good individual/mother/wife?"
My answers were along the lines of:
Someone to help clean
Someone to straighten up because messes drive me crazy
Someone I trust to be with my baby if I need help with care
Long story short, most of my needs and concerns were dead centered around time. Whether it was not having enough of it or none at all this was typically my gripe. My anxiety got pretty bad, i'll be honest, when it came to keeping my home clean and not having someone trusted or feeling very guilty for leaving my son with someone else. This is mostly why i decided to outsource my home cleaning situation. Now if only my boys could only live in one room so the rest of the house could stay sparkling haha, just kidding....kind of! Oh c'mon don't judge me you know you get what I'm saying!
Outsourcing isn't something to be shameful of nor should you feel inadequate because you can't do it all. It's okay to ask for help and i think that if we rally around each other and support this cause it won't be such a "privilege". Speaking of privilege, it feels really unattainable to outsource many things. Let's take housekeeping for instance. I think a lot of people find that it can be pricey when really, the whole industry has been streamlined to a point where there are apps and customize-able ways to run the frequency of cleanings you need in your home. I want to add here that I LOVE referrals. It's something i try to get most of what i purchase be it product or service is through a referral. I ended up trying TIDY cleaning service. I downloaded the app and was NOT impressed with the first person who came to clean, so we ended up having someone else come through TIDY and fell in love. All this to say that we now just have her come and no longer use TIDY. We have recommended her to our friends that have asked. But you see this way, we are helping her keep up her calendar and helping her build her clientele and we've got someone we trust to come in our home and clean, thus helping me sleep better at night!
Some of my favorite ways to outsource that may be of value to you:
Grove Collaborative: if there's anything i like more than coffee and clean products, it's delivery. Grove offers vetted household products to ensure their safety and free from harmful chemicals that are all delivered to your door! Change your life and shop here!
Thrive Market: all the organic, gluten free (which i'm all about), keto, Whole 30 approved, and whatever other dietary needs you have you can find here and again...need i say it's all delivered? I'd start in the sections of your most shopped items at the vitamin or health food store and go from there. Here's a link for you to once again change your life!
Housekeeper: I don't have a link for her but if you're in the Southern Cali area reach out to me because she is AHHHMAAAZING :)
I guess the moral of the story is if it can be delivered, do it. It's helped me from flying off the handle multiple times:)