We seek a village. One that is uplifting, supportive, informational, inspirational, and everything you need to sustain you through this life. In 2015, I was added to my first Facebook Mommy Group. By the end of the year, I was apart of somewhere between 5-10. Being thrust into motherhood is the understatement of the century. I was so overwhelmed by keeping my baby and myself alive, that i rarely looked in depth at these groups for fear of being confused even more! The groups are meant to help, to support, to validate your concerns and crazy questions that no one else would get except another mother. However, fast forward to having now a 4 year old. I rarely visit the groups and when i do i'm slightly disappointed. I'm seeing snarky remarks, unkind comments, disrespectful suggestions and just straight up bullying.
Take it outside these groups online. Take it outside of motherhood. The village we seek as mothers starts with the village we sought before motherhood, as women. We are jaded and defensive these days, but why? We are afraid to open up, discuss our fears, the pains that we've experienced, our past, our present. We've all taken on this "i'll do me for me" mindset and while empowering it's become fearfully isolating. We all need each other as much as we can do things on our own, who really wants to? Going through life is better with valuable people that love, support and help you concur victories. But all that is impossible when we're afraid to let people in.
I've had quite a few conversations on Instagram lately where women are fearful of posting certain things. They're hesitating on engaging in group conversation, in voting, in adding their input, commenting, and expressing THEMSELVES. Because someone somewhere told them their idea was stupid, dumb, they post too much, there are too many pictures of their kids, too many selfies, their captions aren't deep enough, they're always too deep....STOP.
You can't change the people that attempt to make you feel inferior, but you can change the permissions you give them. Womanhood is a powerful journey. It has the ability to change the world, but if we stay afraid of what another woman will say online or behind your back you will never grow into your full potential. All this to say, is that in 2020 my hope is that our village changes the conversation. We break barriers of fear and go show our children, our friends, our world that we are not afraid to step into our interests, our expertise, our thoughts, and our purpose. Find another woman, support her in one way. Make her day.
This is our Vision 2020.