This by far might be one of my favorite things to talk about. I find so much passion behind the fact that we are responsible for our life outcomes. We come across life to live it, not for it to live us and if we working moms can learn to silence the inner mean mommy that lives inside (don't worry she exists in all of us) we can learn to be at our best every day. Yes, it sounds lofty, but with concerted effort it is oh so possible.
So how to change your life? It‘s minor adjustments that require moments of intention.
1. Become self-aware: we all have different habits that help us succeed or that can be our own worst enemy. Being self aware gives yourself the opportunity to be honest with yourself, understand who you are, why you use certain words or have certain thoughts. Self-awareness is really an art that can bring yourself strides forward. How does one become self-aware? Time alone, reflection, journaling etc. Sit with yourself or catch yourself in a negative thought-ask yourself what triggered it and make a mental note or write it down. You will start to see a pattern and be able to check yourself if need be.
2. Positive thinking: now I want you to digest this for a little bit. It's so much more than hoping for the best. It's choosing to believe in the best, point it out, and make it the focal point in all situations. What this really means is that it's not just enough to just hope for the best. It's telling yourself, "this will be ok", "this will work out", "the outcome will be what is best for me". Do you see where I'm going? There is always a sliver lining. It takes effort and intention to identify it and cling to it.
3. Mind your words: Be mindful of what you say in reaction to certain situations. Now the knee jerk reaction to most negative happenings is to complain and imagine the world crumbling around us. We hit the victim panic button and at that very moment we've allowed a situation to dictate our behavior. Now the point of life is not to be ruled by what happens externally, but to be able to cope internally no matter what happens externally. Examples?
External action: Traffic
Internal reaction: "i hate traffic" "there's so many people in LA" "the 10 fwy sucks" " i'm going to be late" "my manager is going to be mad" "i hate this commute".
Doesn't just reading this make you feel just ick?! Well imagine being the individual that thinks/says this every day 5 days a week? That can just wear down on a joyful soul. Guys, this was me. I know so sad. But here's what I choose to do.
External action: Traffic
Internal reaction: "I'd rather get there alive" "I'm blessed to have a car" "My job is a blessing" "I hope everyone's ok if there was an accident" "i get more time listening to podcasts" "I get more alone time to sit with my thoughts"...
And just like that I have begun to create a new habit and way of thinking and as a result I live my life very differently. This intentional choice needs to be made daily for any situation. I have personally reduced my own stress and given myself the ability of acceptance and peace.
4. Nothing happens to you, it happens for you: leave the victimizing behind. Those days are gone. Be empowered by the fact that you have something to learn in every single situation. Sure, life is not always butterflies and roses, but we sure can make the best of it. Ask yourself, what can I get out of this? How can I grow? I know there's something better for me because I didn't get this job, what can I do to get ready for it? What's the lesson I get to learn here? And honestly, the best part of this concept to me is that we get to help other people do the same thing. Your testimony of what you go through or what you've been through allows you to help other people change their lives too.
We dive so much deeper into the power of perspective in working motherhood and how these coaching strategies can lead to literally changing your life, career, marriage, and the way you mom. If you find yourself struggling to bring these qualities to the forefront of your life, please don‘t hesitate to reach out- we are here to help.
We hope you find resolve with your self talk and perspective and that these little key changes lead to big impact outcomes!